Italian Food for People Who Don't Know How to Make Italian Food but Also Don't Have Time for Restaurants

So yeah, shopping.  Now, of course you have those classic fresh Italian ingredients that you can buy from the local market - on Via Ugo Bassi there's a pretty big one with fish stalls and butchers in addition to fruit and vegetable vendors - but if you need large corporations to do your cooking more or less for you, like I do, there are also some American style supermarkets in Italy.  In fact, we were the country that introduced them to the peninsula just after World War II, as I learned from this article that I read sophomore year.

Of course, things didn't go smoothly at first, because Italians thought carrying shopping bags made them look poor, but eventually they learned American ways, and now have their own spin on the beloved institution.

This is an advertisement for Italy's oldest supermarket - clearly they've taken things too far

Here in Bologna, there are a few different supermarkets.  Probably the best known is Coop - there are a bunch of them in the city.  There's also a pretty large Pam supermarket across the city from where I live which is the only one open on Sunday afternoons, and some Carrefour Express mini-supermarkets scattered around.  Esselunga is also pretty famous, but they seem to be mostly in the suburbs.

Now, before we begin, let's try not to judge them for being different.  Sometimes different is good! Here is a far from exhaustive list of what is different:

1) Eggs are not located next to the milk as they are in the U.S., and are instead unrefrigerated on their own space of shelf.  This confuses me every single time.  After 5 minutes of looking confusedly a different kinds of cheese, I give up and ask someone

2) The largest milk container available is 1 L (as far as I've seen).  As someone who consumes an ungodly amount of milk, this saddens me, because I have to buy a new bottle every two days instead of working on a gallon for a few days. For reference, here is the largest container of milk available, next to a normal sized glass:

NOT ENOUGH!!!

3) You can buy mayonnaise in a tube:

"That's one small step for man..."

4) As I've noted previously, they only have two kinds of soda, but make up for that by having blood orange juice alongside regular orange juice - I would have taken a photo, but going on my own to a store and taking a photo of their produce seems like a weird thing to do

Now, here's are some random things I've bought at the supermarket:

1) This flan (pannacotta) that comes in a pudding cup that you open upside down so that it stays on the cover:

Also, that mark on the table is where the caramel dripped off because I opened it badly

2) This soppressata that is so, so tasty

Stop being immature

3) These whoopee pies that are peach on the outside and chocolate on the inside - they are as weird as they sound

Photographic evidence

Of course, there are a lot of other minor differences, but those were some of the ones that I noticed and felt like taking a picture of

So good.  Gets me every time

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I'm Lovin' It

Italy's great, for sure.  The people, the cities, the food, all of it.  But let's say you get sort of tired of part of it.  Maybe, after one week of eating nothing but pasta and dried meat, you want some of that good old American cuisine to refresh your palate.

errday

Well, lucky for you, Italy's got your back.  There's a McDonald's in every major city center and every major train station, so you can get your grease on whenever you want.

This McDonald's is right next to the cathedral in Ferrara

But what are you going to order? Getting Italian McDonald's must be so confusing - the names are probably all different and stuff.

Well, true, but different in a good way, because the names are all English and just as explanatory as American burger names.  If you're me, there's really only one option, however:

Crispy McBacon, or, as it says on the box, His Crispiness

Because seriously, who sees a name like that and thinks, "ehh, I'll pass"?  And it is indeed good.  Just like mother used to make, assuming she was an associate at McDonald's.  More accurately, just like your high school friends used to make before they quit.  The only difference is that instead of using ketchup, they use what seems to be Thousand Island dressing, which kind of surprises me because I would have assumed that if Italy was swapping out ketchup, it would be for tomato sauce.

Also, for those curious, here's the text on the box:
"'Crispy' means this is something else: tasty bovine meat [Editor's note: hell yes], two slices of crispy bacon [I'm still not positive that bacon and pancetta are the same thing, but close enough]..."

Wait a second - the next phrase is "deliziosa salsa bacon"... does that mean the sauce is not Thousand Island, but BACON SAUCE???? What I thought was relish was actually bacon? Why is this sandwich not in America? McDonald's, wake up!

Continued: "... delicious bacon sauce and a strong and unmistakable personality.  The true classics never fade away."  Amen, Crispy McBacon box, amen.

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Italian McDonald's is in general a bit different from the American original (and I'm going to say better). I've never gotten McDonald's to go in the U.S. unless it was drive-thru, so I was somewhat surprised by the bag they gave me

This bag is super sized

It was large enough for my food and a drink carrier thing.  They also could have put in another few combos of food, but I'm not complaining.

Also, the McDonald's in the Bologna city center is pretty busy and has two floors.  They actually have an usher who finds you a seat.  I didn't know this the first time and went looking around for a table before a guy came to help me.  He also threw out my left over food for me.  Ospitalità, I say.

The main thing that struck me, however, is the augmented selection in some areas while in others its severely limited.  There is not much drink selection.  There are 4 options: Coke, Diet Coke, Fanta Aranciata (I'll cover what this is in a later post), and Water, and these are pretty much the same limited options that you'll find in a supermarket.  This Dr. Pepper drinking blogger is somewhat saddened by the situation.

Other things, however, provide a much greater range of choices.  There are various things you can get instead of fries, including a wedge of parmesan cheese (they were sold out when I went, so I guess it's popular).  Also available is gelato, which I came very, very close to getting, I assure you.  Granted, gelato in this case probably only means soft-serve, but it is probably pretty good in any case.  I mean, who doesn't like ice cream?  I'll do a post one this when I try out Burger King (the only other American fast food chain I've seen.  Where's the Sbarro's?), but there were 5 or 6 flavors, including Coffee, Caramel, and "Forest Fruit" (mixed berry I think).  So yeah, I will certainly be going to check that out.  Actually, there's no way I'm not going back now that I've realized that the sandwich I ate had bacon sauce on it.  Mi piace.

Using the Bathroom

There are some things that America just does the best.  Examples: fried food, freedom, soft drinks, SUVs, and liberty.  Also, democracy. Also, bathrooms are one of those things.

Here is a selfie of me in a bathroom

Now I'm not pointing any fingers here, 

Actually, I lied.  I totally am.  My bad.

but some countries could stand to learn a few things from America, and one of those is Italy.  Now, Italy's great: the people are awesome, the food is awesome, even their terrible president is more amusing than ours

I have the intelligence of George W. Bush combined with the licentiousness of Bill Clinton!

Unfortunately, the bathrooms (which they call the "toilette", from French I think) are somewhat confusing and, I might also say, worse.  I think that's a bit harsh - we can all deal with things like this - but still.  Here's my reasoning:

1. Bidet: this is a fixture (not an appliance really, is it?) that for me has no application whatsoever.  It just sits there taking up space.

sup

What it looks like is a combination sink/urinal, but in actuality it is used for "washing the genetalia, inner buttocks, and anus".  

umm... 

Okay, actually I'm starting to feel bad for it now.  That's a terrible, terrible job.  I guess you can stay.

2. Washing machine:  The washing machine is actually alright - it's kind of confusing, but has a function where you can set it to run after a few hours so you can wash your clothes while you're at work or something, which is pretty cool.  The downside is that they heavily outnumber the dryers, which means you have to hangdry your clothes.  In the summer, that's great.  That fresh scent will lift your spirits day after day.  In the winter, however, you have to hang them on these racks

which actually do a fairly decent job.  The one problem is that it's pretty cold in my room, so the clothes that don't go on the rack (like socks, for instance) will take much longer to dry.  That is to say, they are still moist after 2 days.

It's not all bad, though.  The toilets here are more environmentally friendly, since you can stop the flush if you don't need to wash that much down, and they also use less water in general.  Actually, everything would be perfect if they just swapped the bidet out for a dryer.  That's all I'm saying really.

Ciao!!

Ciao amici.  Soon I will hopefully have some content, which may be interesting to you Americans curious to see how different life is overseas.  It will range from various food products to aspects of daily living.  Hopefully I will be able to keep things fresh and interesting.  If not, :/

A presto,
Alex